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Very Logical

There was this auntie, who suddenly started learning to swim instead of going for her usual dance routine everyday.
Everyone was curious and asked her: "why the change of interest to swimming now?"
Auntie replied: "whenever my son and daughter-in-law quarrelled, daughter-in-law would always ask: "if your mom and I were to fall into the water, who would you save first?"
And because I do not want to put my son in a difficult position, hence I am learning to swim myself!"
Now not long after, husband and wife were quarrelling again, and the daughter-in-law again unreasonably asked:" now tell me! If your mom and I fall into the water, who would you save first?"
Husband replied:"I don't have to get down into the water, my mom can swim, she will save you."
Wife refused to relent: "No, you have to get into the water, no matter what"
Husband replied: "Then you will surely die, for I can't swim , and my mom will definitely save me first."

Lawyer's perspective

A lawyer was asked: What is your opinion on Ramayana and Mahabharat?'
"One is a Kidnapping case and the other is a Land dispute  case"

Religious Differences

judge : are u divorcing ur wife?
husband : we have major religious differences! 
judge : what are those differences??
husband : she thinks she is a goddess, i don't!