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I found a Leaflet in my newspaper this morning which read, 'ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC? CALL NOW. WE CAN HELP!!!'
I Called up. It Was A Liquor Shop Offer : 'Buy 3 & Get 1 Free'...
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son-in-law, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son-in-law. 'Yes, Dad, what is it?'
'Don't be nervous son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well if something happens to me your mother in law is going to come and live with you.'
The surgery was a great success..
Teacher : Why does it take a million sperms to fertilize one Egg?
Santa : Female Ego ji,
Rejection without reason
Its Jim's birthday, so his wife decides to surprise him, she takes him to a Strip Club.
At the club -
DOORMAN: Hey Jim! How are you?
WIFE: How does he know you?
JIM: We play Golf together!
BARTENDER: The usual beer Jim?
WIFE: And how does he know you?
JIM: He's on the Bowling Team!
HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again, Jim?
The Wife storms out...... dragging Jim with her, into a taxi!
TAXI DRIVER: Hey Jimmy boy....You picked an ugly one this time...Same Hotel?
Today is Jim's death anniversary
Santa - sir ji aap apni wife ko party mein kyu nahi laate? Boss - woh gaon ki hai.. Santa - Oh sorry mujhe laga woh sirf aapki hai :-)