Jokes Category

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Phone Bill

The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man called a family meeting to discuss.

Dad: This is unacceptable. I don't use home phone, I use my work phone.

Mum: Me too. I hardly use home phone. I use my companies phone

Son: I use my office mobile, I never use the home phone.

All of them shocked and together look at the maid who's patiently listening to them.

Maid: "What? So we all use our work phones. What's the Big deal??


Santa on KBC

Santa Singh is playing KBC and is on the hot seat.

His next question is for 1 Crore Rupees!

Amitabh (confident as ever): Santaji, are you ready??

Yeh raha Aapka Agla Sawaal, 1 Crore ke liye!

Which among these persons is the father of Aaradhya Bacchan?

Here are your options:

A) Salman Khan

B) Hrithik Roshan

C) Vivek Oberoi

D) Abhishek Bacchan

Amitabh (thinking to himself):
What a waste of a question! Surely he has to guess D.

There's no other choice !

But Santa looks confused and takes his time
 to answer .....  much to Big B's irritation !!

Santa: I will go for life-line.

Amitabh (totally flabbergasted): What .. Oh Life line?

Ok very well! You have three life lines remaining:
50-50, Phone-a-friend and Audience Poll.
Which one will you choose first?

Santa: I will go for Audience Poll.

Amitabh (slightly vexed): Ok, Janata please vote for the correct answer.

Audience votes.

Results are as follows:

A) Salman Khan - 40%

B) Hrithik Rohan - 20%

C) Vivek Oberoi - 30%

D) Abhishek Bacchan - 10%

Amitabh looks as if his face has been hit by a truck !

Amitabh:  What’s wrong with the crazy Janata?
I hope Santa does not make the wrong choice?
Saare Mohallme mein thoo-thoo ho jaayegi !

Santa (confused as ever): I am still not sure of the answer.
I will go for another life line. I would like to go for 50-50.

Amitabh (Slightly relieved now thinks
"Surely now the correct answer will come through"):
Sure thing Santaji. Computerji, let’s have 50-50.
Let’s remove two wrong answers !!

Now Options B and D disappear and the remaining options are:

A) Salman Khan

C) Vivek Oberoi

Amitabh now breaks into a cold sweat and coughs nervously, while the audience starts whispering.

Santa (Still looking confused): I am still not sure!
I will go for my Final Life line, Phone-a-friend.

Amitabh (now thoroughly agitated): Y-y-y-y-y-yes of course. Which Friend would you like to phone?

Santa: Aishwarya Rai Bacchan !

Amitabh: OK ! Computerji, Aishwarya Rai Bacchan ko phone lagaaya jaaye! (thinking: Now finally the truth will come out)

Phone rings. Aishwarya picks up the phone.
Big B goes through the entire rigmarole of explaining the rules and Santa takes over.

Santa: Hello Aishwarya !!

Aishwarya: Hi Santa !

Santa: Aishwarya, please answer this question?
Who is the father of Aaradhya Bacchan?

The entire studio is waiting with bated breath for the answer, including Amitabh who does not know where to look.

Aishwarya: Pehle option to batao !!!

Amitabh faints !!

Tongue OutWinkLaughing

Pakistani and Sikh

2 sikh soldiers capture a pakistani,
gave him a dice & said: 
If u get 1,2,3,4,5,We'll kill u.
Pakistani asked:
Aur agar 6 aya to?
Sikh Fauji:
Kabhi 'LUDO' nahi khela kya? Phir se chance milega.

Brazil and Rahul

Brazil government requests Rahul Gandhi to teach Brazilians how to smile

in moment of shameful defeat.

Meanwhile Germany has given "Show-cause" notice to all the players who did NOT score a goal in this match.!!!


Teach spelling

Santa teaching his children the spelling of assassination.

One ass behind another ass,
behind that I,
and behind me the whole nation.